I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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