from now on my penis is your penis
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
