I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize