Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
