I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
