I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
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He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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