is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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