do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
