i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
