Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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First date: that requires underwear, huh?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
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If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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