It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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