You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
