I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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