can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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