Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Houston, we have a squirter
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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