Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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