Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
