Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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