theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
