Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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