i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
