Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Couch. On fire.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
