Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
