when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
