help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
