So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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