I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
