before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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