Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
