quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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