I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
