A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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