Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize