i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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