my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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