I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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