I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
