she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
