I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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