You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
