I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
my liver is dry heaving
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
