I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
