also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
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You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
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I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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