so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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