I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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