Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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