When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
