I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
