my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize