You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
