She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
