they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
