Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize