Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize