don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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