That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
