I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
