You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
