mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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