Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
