idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
