can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
