I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
